God's Little Cowgirl: God is good all the time, but life can still be hard....

Yesterday was a bummer of a day. Nothing bad happened. No one was sick, but I still had a case of the grouchies. Now that can spoil a day faster than just about anything. :-( A combination of being super tired, and trying to do too much was probably to blame...or the fact that I am a huge sinner and was just living in the moment of wanting everything to go my way...which doesn't normally happen. I was irritable, and not too sweet to my little princesses. They seemed to have a case of the grouchies as well, which didn't help the situation go any smoother. They fought while we were out in public, which just makes me want to run and hide. The place where we went knows that we home school, and I just pictured them whispering when we left about how bad homeschooling was for you kid...LOL I let the girls get hot chocolate at this place (it was free) in hopes to seem like I was being a pleasant mom, only for it to spill all over my car by not one, but two sweet little princesses. I lost my cool. I snapped. I took the hot chocolate away. We drove home in tears. Good grief, it's just a mess in the car, I always have a mess in the car. It shouldn't be that big of a deal. But right then, it was.....

I have been following a blog about a home school mom, who recently lost her 2 year old son, in a terrible accident at home. He had pulled a dresser over on himself while trying to climb up on it. Her faith in God is strong, but of course there are so many struggles she is going through. She posted the other day about a situation at a grocery store, but I didn't get time to read it until this morning. God knew I needed the message today, not last week. She was in a public restroom with her two younger children, when one lady commented on how much work they are when they are young, "but they grow up so fast and you'll be planning their wedding before you know it." The home school mom lost control of her emotions, after the unknowing lady left the bathroom. She wished that she would get to plan that wedding for her lost child...instead she had to plan his funeral.

I kept thinking about that blog during my quiet time this morning. How often do I get so wrapped up in how much work child raising is? How much laundry or dishes do I need to clean? How many times do I take for granted that my children will always be here with me? I kept praying that the Lord would help me remember my own little world is not always about me. Sure the kids disobeyed yesterday...they normally do when someone is watching. Think God let's that happen to keep us humble. Guessing He thought I needed an extra dose this week. There are so many people that have said they aren't sure why they are put on this earth...most of them not Christians mind you, but I know why I was put here. I have been given the task of raising three precious girls for the Lord, to impact His world in a mighty way. That is a huge task. Why would I think it would always be easy? I not only need to show them the way this world works with all of its gadgets and thingamajigs, I need to show them how God works even when we can't tell that He is even doing anything. I need to teach them that God is good all the time, but that life is still hard. I need to be able to explain to them that I don't know why the Lord would take that sweet momma's little child so young, but that He had a purpose in it for sure. I need to remind myself the same thing, for my heart is breaking for her......

So yeah, I pretty much failed yesterday in the loving, sweet, forgiving, patient department.....but I refuse to fail today, for He is faithful and He has called me to be better than I am. He has promised to empower me to be able to push my own weaknesses aside, and let Him make me stronger. Yes, I fall...but I am learning to pick myself back up.