I was having a conversation a while back with a friend. A question came up about a mutual friend that neither of us had seen in sometime. The comment was made that it almost seemed like she fell off the face of the earth. I sat silently, deep in thought as to how to reply. As I sat there thinking, I knew. I wanted to fall off the face of the earth like she did. No. Not a depressing way. A way that I was free to focus on my little family and not to be so torn going to various activities or volunteering at every possible given moment. This "missing" lady had a baby two years ago, and was staying home to focus on her home schooling and her children even more. Why is that not enough for the "world" to realize that, that is...enough!? Something has happened in the home schooling world. I think the fear of being unsocialized has left us being OVERsocialized. It actually requires being home, to get the home schooling done, but during the school year it seems like we are everywhere but home. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I haven't learned how to do it all correctly. That is probably more the case, but I wonder if others feel this way. Not many people would dare to take on two full time jobs, but that is exactly what a lot of home school moms do. Between house work, schooling, trying to be a good wife and volunteering, it all adds up to way too much "overtime".
This past week the weather has been beautiful. Almost fall like. I had gardens that needed to be cleaned out. Animal pens that needed some maintenance and children that wanted a mother that was free to play games. I was unable to do these things. Not because I didn't want too, but because I was swamped with volunteer projects that I keep thinking the Lord had called me to. I was diligent and got most of my paperwork done for these various projects and then sank down in my computer chair to just sit, and stare....and then I got another email. The one from The Old School house. I was ready to start my training for my new product reviewing job. I felt like crying. When is too much too much?? I started reading the twenty-one page manual and noticed something very important that I had forgot. You have to have a Face Book account to have this job. I just deleted my account a couple of months ago. Now, I know that I just briefly mentioned that earlier like it was no big deal, but it was. It was so hard for me that I had to have my Sweet Man actually click the delete button. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew not having the account would make me be left out of home school get togethers that were mentioned on there. I knew it would be hard to stay in contact with my Aunt who lives in another state, but I also knew I wouldn't be privy to some not so lovely gossip and serious bragging that was going on. When I first joined I thought Face book would be an outlet that we could spread our testimonies or encourage one another, instead I saw it tear friendships apart because of slander. I saw it as an avenue to build oneself up instead of encourage one another. I saw it steal minutes or even hours out of one's day, when their precious children were waiting for their mommys to "log off". It just wasn't for me anymore, and now this job was requiring me to have it. I was so confused, but then again I wasn't. I had seen earlier that my schedule is way to full of outside things, and here was a way out of adding another one to it. Could I do it? Could I decline a coveted job to better make me suited to mother my children the way the Lord keeps telling me? Well it took about two days and then I knew. Yes, I could. So I am not a product reviewer anymore for the much loved magazine, and I am on my way to "falling off the face of the earth"! I am learning to say No...which does not come easy to me. I am learning that just because I am capable of "getting a job done" that I am not the only one that the Lord has given those abilities to. I am trying to learn that there is enough value in being a wife and mother, that I don't have to pile up extra jobs or titles so I feel and/or look more important. I am learning that there is a season for everything, and right now mine is at home. I am learning to pray more and actually seek His wisdom and try not to second guess the answers He gives me. You know what one of the things He has showed me recently is? That being a servant for Christ can look like many things. Even though I am trying to lighten my "work load" of volunteering, I am still serving Him by caring for my family. There is going to come a day that my children will not need me as much as they do now, I will be able to serve much more outside the home then. If you get a chance, please pray for me. Pray that I will know which activities we are supposed to keep, and which ones need to be left behind.....
"God has given you children, which are your glory
To enrich your life and help write your story,
You're in God's perfect will for this is your calling,
He'll help you each day and keep you from falling."