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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

An attitude of gratitude

It is so hard to complain about the things that aren't going right or things I don't have, when I stop and look at all that is going right, and all that the Lord has blessed me with. I have so much....not just worldly things mind you, but the greatest treasure of all is mine. I have hope that the Lord is working every day on my behalf to better me and my surroundings, to use me in ways that I can't imagine. I want to live as everyday is Thanksgiving, and have my eyes open to all that I have.

This year one of the things I am truly thankful for is my daddy. This past March our families lives were changed drastically when I got a phone call. The phone, it can bring such wonderful news, or it can stop you dead in your tracks. The Doctors here in Charleston said that my Dad's heart was failing and there was nothing more they could do for him. And in a sense that was so true...but then there's God. His heart was working between 5-10percent.  My Mom wanted them to take him to Cleveland Clinic to see a specialist, but the waiting list was too long. There wasn't time to wait. I have never in my whole entire life felt so close to God. To be in a situation that you feel totally helpless and know that only He can "fix" this, was the scariest thing I had ever been through. I didn't eat for days, and literally prayed without ceasing. I kept feeling a peace that the Lord was saying, "it's ok sweetie. I'm here"...but my faith being as weak as it is, just didn't really know, if He would pull through for me. I know that sometimes He brings tragedies in our lives for a reason, to use in some way. I didn't want tragedy, I wanted  Him to work a miracle. He did. That 3-4 month waiting list for Cleveland turned into 3 days. My parents were flown in a helicopter while my Aunt (dad's sister) and me and my sister drove to meet them there. We were in awe at how the Lord was working things out for us, and I felt like it was a test for me. To see if I would really trust like I should. Upon  further testing it was shown that his organs were shutting down and it was not a promising situation. I tried to trust. That first night he started to have streaks running up and down his arm where the IV had been put while he was at the hospital in Charleston. It looked like he might have a staff infection. It was getting hard to trust.  It was not  a good "problem" for anyone, but one with a failing heart, definitely not. My Mom stayed with him in his room all night and us 3 ladies headed over to our hotel exhausted and very quiet. I felt like I was watching my Dad die. A man that I loved more than life itself. Had I told him I loved him enough? Had I spent enough time with him? I just wasn't ready for this! That was one of the longest nights of my life, sitting, waiting in that hotel room. We cried together, prayed together and read our bibles  together. That morning I mentally was trying to prepare myself for what the day might greet me with. You can't really prepare... The streaks had "magically" disappeared and his organs started functioning again. I felt the reassurance from the Lord, that He indeed did care about us and even though he was super busy working out everyone else's details, He still had time for mine.

He had a pacemaker and defibrillator installed and is doing very well. My heart just swells with joy and thankfulness, when I see him drive up my driveway in his four wheeler, or hear him working on his sawmill. He is an awesome man and father. He taught me to work hard, be kind and to not take life too serious. I can remember many a family dinners around our kitchen table with him cracking jokes and making us laugh. He has never been caught up in making people see how special he is. He doesn't have too. It just shows.

I know full and well that we wouldn't have our little farm and house if it wasn't for him. He spent everyday and evening here for 2 years, with Mike building our house and giving advice. When I look around our place there are so many stories to tell. Stories of my dad helping us with 'this'or helping with 'that'. After our house was finished he bought a piece of land off of us, and even built a house for he and my mom. We are very thankful that we have them so close!

No, I wasn't ready to loose him. We never are, but the things is, I know that if the Lord didn't save my Dad, He still would have been a just God, who was still looking out for me and working all things to better me. I am just so thankful that we have him this Thanksgiving, and that I have a mom who tirelessly didn't give up when the Dr. said that there wasn't anything they could do. You see, we might be a little stubborn in our family, but God has plans for that as well! I love my heavenly father and my earthly one as well. Trying to not take for granted that there will be a tomorrow...cause ya never know.
My dad went with me and my girls to the pumpkin festival this year. Here he is talking with his friend and bee supplier. 

This was this past summer (after his surgery), he is building a cabin and picnic shelter on top of our properties.

Working on the chimney for the cabin.

My dad's faithful loving dog Grady. 

Hope playing in the fireplace that Dad was working on.

Do I have things that I would like to change? Of course. We all do. But I want to remember to be thankful for what I do have, and right now, I have my daddy!

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